How is your relationship with YOURSELF?

Often throughout the holiday's things get off track.  We are out of routine with food, exercise, sleep, and daily rituals.  Some people are very care free, lack of routine doesn't matter, and they bask in the joy of the holiday season and spending time with loved ones.  For others, like myself, there is a bit of anxiety associated with the holidays, for a variety of reasons.  As part of the holiday season I always use this time of year as a time of reflection, and to check in with my fitness, health, and lifestyle goals, and well as my emotions and mindset (relationship with self).  For example.  I always know the state of relationship with myself by how I am approaching my food and activity.  When I start feeling unworthy, anxious, sad, fearful, as well as many other emotions I start to look to controlling my food and activity behaviours so that I can try to numb out my emotions, and forget about them.  What I mean by that is I will obsess about exercise, and over exercise, I will restrict food and I will obsess about the foods I am eating.  These are all attempts for me to control how I feel inside, rather than letting out those emotions in a healthy fashion.  Other ways I realize things are getting out of hand are when I am at a party and I spend more time looking at the food and thinking "what will I dive into next", or "I'd love to go get another drink", rather than spending time connecting with people and enjoying myself.  Rather than sharing stories and connecting with loved ones I am probably running through a mental list of what I have already eaten that night, and what else I can eat without going too overboard.  I've learned that these are my signs that I am feeling anxious, uncomfortable, and I don't know how to deal with these emotions.  Last year was a right off for me.  I spent every christmas party devouring drinks and food because I had been so restrictive months prior.  I totally isolated myself during my vacation and was more interested in cooking and getting my exercise in rather than communicating!  It is a bit scary for me to look back on that time as I was feeling some turmoil inside but didn't know how to deal with it.  This year I plan on checking in regularly.  How am I feeling?  Are situations making me anxious?  What am I doing to relax and take it easy?  Am I missing out on friendships because I am obsessing about food/activity?  And if I am, I plan on talking this over with Kyle, as well as my family so it doesn't ruin my holiday!

I guess this ended up being quite a personal blog.  I am sure there are a few people that can relate.  I encourage you to reach out to me, to discuss what's going on so that you don't resort to your habits and patterns that may interfere with your holiday season.  If you have a relationship with food and activity that is totally imbedded with your relationship with yourself, let's chat and enjoy the holidays together!!!

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